As a family-law attorney for over 35 years, I can tell you that the secret to a successful divorce is to minimize your involvement with the legal system and to avoid using lawyers who work in it. Where one spouse is a controller abuser — 5 to 10 percent of all cases — this advice does not apply, but for everyone else, going to an attorney as your first step is the worst thing you can possibly do and court is the worst possible place to settle d » Read more: Secret to a Successful Divorce: Instead of an Attorney Use Self-help, Mediation or Collaborative Law